7th July 2024
How often have we heard motivational gurus telling us not to compare our life situation with others, because in the exam of life each of us has a different question paper? While scrolling Instagram recently, I came across the same advice and commented to my son that this was being repeated too often. To which, my son replied, why consider life an exam at all? Nobody likes exams so should we not like life too? His reply shocked me into silence. I had heard this analogy for years and never looked at it this way. I had accepted it literally, that life was an exam and each of our life situations are different therefore we cannot compare our lives or copy each other’s responses to situations.
But his reply made me contemplate on what a young mind had just stated. It is a fact that nobody likes exams. Exams cause stress and pressure; it creates unnecessary tension in the examinee. The results of the exam become a basis for comparison among the examinees. When one looks at exams like this then life shouldn’t be looked at as an exam at all. We are constantly being told not to judge people based on their life situations or the choices they make etc. But in India any exam becomes a basis for judgement.
The other thing that struck me was that this train of thought is contrary to what positive psychology talks about or the motivation that these Gurus offer. That life is to be enjoyed, every moment has to be lived mindfully and not under stress. Life maybe a rollercoaster ride, but it is to be lived fully and not lived stressfully. If we were to compare life to an exam we would be on the edge and under tremendous stress all the time.
I have seen children preparing for exams single mindedly. They cut off from everything that they think can affect their concentration. No entertainment, no free time, no sports, no socialising etc. Parents also ensure that the children are free from all distraction so that they may score well in the exam. Some mothers even resign from their jobs or take on part time assignments, so that they may monitor the studying and the health of their children. Children are enrolled in coaching classes for various subjects that they have to attend after regular school. As a result, they have to do twice as much work at home as they have assignments from school and from the Coaching classes.
During exams people cut themselves off from all enjoyment, from living life itself in a sense, in order to succeed in the exam and achieve top honours. But life, if it has to be lived completely and it has to be enjoyed and shared with others. All the emotions and relationships that lead to the ups and downs of life have to experienced and dealt with in order to consider life a success. But should we consider life an exam where there are some who pass and others who fail? Or should life be only measured by the person living it? Should it be up to each individual to decide the success and failure of his own life?
Or is that how life is to be lived? Like you were appearing for an exam? With the single aim of geting the best/highest marks without enjoying life at all? Where you are anxious about the outcome and if you do not succeed in terms of society’s evaluation, you are deemed a failure. Or is it for each person to decide what their life is? If each of us is happy with the life we lead, the struggles we overcome and then we consider it successful; is that enough?
During exams it is each person for himself. Each of us has to appear for the exams alone. While others may help us prepare for the exam and support us, we have to appear for the exam all by ourselves. During the period of the exam you are all alone and have to deal with all the emotions that you feel then, all by yourself. The consequences of the result of the exam has to be dealt with by the examinee himself. In life also each person has to live his life all by himself. There will be others who will support him, help him and advise him. But he has to make the final decision himself. In life also the consequences of the decisions have to be borne by the decision maker, the extent to which others are affected will depend on the relationship they have with the decision maker.
There is no doubt that people compare their life with that of others. Without any knowledge of the challenges that others face. Success is measured in terms of economic and material acquisition. Happiness, contentment, peace of mind and relationships developed are not considered to be part of a successful life. The acquisition of material wealth and material success is the cornerstone of success in our society today. Our education system is geared towards creating successful individuals in the materialistic world. Little or no importance is given to the psychological and social well being of the individuals. Psychological wellbeing, is often limited to the fall outs of struggling to acquire success in the materialistic world.
We should understand that we have one life here on this Earth, so we should live the best life we can. There is no doubt that material wealth is required to live comfortably, but a fulfilling and enriching life, is when you live life on your terms! A life well lived is one that embraces all that happens to you and still finds a way to make the best of it. Life is not an exam or a rat race which one has to win. There are no winners or losers in life, as each one’s life is different. Each individual’s definition of life and success in life is different. Life is to be enjoyed despite all the trials and not suffered and stressed about to get approval according to societal standards.
Life is a journey that has to be travelled and experienced at one’s own pace. Thinking of it as an exam to pass, is to belittle this one beautiful life that we have!!
- Should life be considered an exam?
- Should we become part of the “rat race” for success as dictated by society?
- Would life be more productive and purposeful if we approached it like an exam?
